Update

A whole lotta nothing going on around here. Go to school. Come home. Go to school. That pretty much sums it up. What's up with these lucky bastards who are still on break?

I'm going to a conference in two weeks, and I haven't written one single word for my presentation yet. Is that bad?

I've been watching trash TV while I exercise which means I'll stay on the elliptical until my legs burn. I eat brownies to help rejuvenate myself.

I'm supposed to attend a HUGE, INCREDIBLE, IMPORTANT social function this weekend, but I'd rather stay home and exchange misanthropic banter with Awesome Man. Please vote on the best excuse for my absence:

* Snake bite
* Menopause
* Old lacrosse injury acting up
* Surprise IRS audit
* AM having affair with local news anchor

I step-parented today. Usually I suck at being a step-parent, but I was pretty okay at it today. When AM's daughter asked me what I would do in a particular situation if I were the mom, I said, "I'd ask my mom because she's better at this kind of thing." I think my honesty underscored my complete ineptitude, thus signaling that parenting questions ought to be directed to those more qualified than me. Fortunately, I get to act as the mediator. I find out what her mom thinks about something and then I find out what her dad thinks about something, and I just reinforce those messages. If I had to come up with the messages on my own, though, I'd be lost. I make a somewhat acceptable role model in that I don't have an arrest record and I've never snorted coke off of a hooker, but I would be a horrible parent. Case-in-point: I recognize my nephew's birthday every third year, except for the five years that I just forgot altogether.

For the good of humanity, I'm now going to take a shower and wash my hair.