Why, oh why, am I so lazy? Rather than grading, I'm twirling in my office chair singing the Motley Crue classic, Kickstart My Heart. (Now THAT was pure poetry.) My students' papers just keep pouring in. Instead of actually reading them, I've been making this truly incredible spreadsheet with a color-coded scheme to mark who turned what in and when. Does it matter? No, but making the spreadsheet took a really long time.
I'm usually a grading machine at this point in this semester; in fact, I'm usually among the first done because I typically do all final grading in a large block of time and just power through it. I'm just not in the mood this week.
Here's what I've done instead:
* Worked on the syllabus for my summer class that begins in, oh my, five days.
* Power walked with Awesome Man (we took our long route, which we refer to as "The Gary Coleman" route because I'm positive I once saw Gary Coleman eating a push-up in this particular area)
* Ate oatmeal...very slowly
* Read blogs, and if you haven't updated, I just re-read everything...twice
* Sent out an encouraging mass email to all students who haven't yet turned in papers (the deadline isn't until tomorrow)
* Responded to each student online submission with a personalized message stating exactly why I enjoyed having the particular student in class (did not send email to the two people who irritated the hell out of me)
* Wandered into Awesome Man's office (he works at home half-time) to see what he was doing (he was working!)
* Read a chapter of Crime and Punishment
* Composed this list
I'm pondering the possibility of paying the kid who mows our lawn to grade my papers. When we hired him, he said he would do other stuff too. He didn't specify what "other stuff" is, but I'm guessing that grading papers couldn't be entirely out of his ability. He seems to be a very bright twelve-year-old kid.
If you are still reading this, then you must be avoiding grading too. If you can think of other time-wasting strategies, let me know.
Or maybe you shouldn't.
Posted expressly for you @ 9:38 AM
3 Comments:
Hey! I'm like an expert TA. In fact, I've frequently graded for classes where I know absolutely nothing about the topic area (see: explorers and conquest, medical history). I just warn you that I charge through the nose. Maybe the neighbour kid is a better idea.
And that list was pretty much exactly the same as what I was doing to avoid reading a constitutional law book. Including the chair twirling. I dub thee with an honorary West Procrastination title. Viscount Limon de Campo.
You should send out the papers to various friends for grading. All you have to do is send them with a self-addressed stamped envelope. It could be like a chain letter, but with grading.
I saw Gary Coleman at Sonic Burger. Driving a new VW Bug.
Of course I too am avoiding grading. And other things.
HBO dramas on DVD are good for this project. And house cleaning. And exercise plans.
And eating.
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